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Copyright © 2000 Macned
Fragment 1 Fragment 2
Fragment 3 slither
dusk otter
memorable memories flying
Proclamation crime
Girls ?
the annoyance of the splashback
psychobabble and the quest for zen
something of substance
lowering the tone abortive...
a sample tender fallow
beaver creek lime in a brothel
Macned opting out
To Defer Nine Day Wonder
Neo-Argonauts Solace
Balancing the Ledger the wiles of the serpent
Litanies A Few Home Fallacies
Far Cough Facing Up
The Wormpool Off My Rocker
Batwing Legion
mice and model sheep The Murmur of Onan
the nether mark Telemachus
Fragment 1 Fragment 2
i watched a bird fly overhead Submission is inverted hate
it fluttered onyx wings hand held high in supplication feign
the sun caught in its feathers her fair form caught my eye
and shone with light diffuse... and they to her accorded the title queen...
Fragment 3 slither
Such is the dust our triumph won i was standing on a bridge
that the peril that is death and a log floated by below
is as nothing as the sweet dew of spring so i spat on it and i was glad
in which cavorting maidens blend because tomorrow i would be a hero.
infused with spectral mist... [the psychopathology of suicide]
dusk otter
at dusk the light is dim i really like your otter
the sky a sea of red it's smooth and sleeky grey
the moths emerge and flutter it ambles in the water
in the cool even wind. and smiles in the haze.
written at the age of seven i'm flying i fly
in autumn i float i sigh
leaves yellow, red, brown and orange she loved me
i ran to get them and then?
and I gave them to the cat [it never was].
[circa 1973 Miss Baird];
memorable memories critique of seeming
her hair, freckles, attractiveness look for flaws you'll find them
short skirt, long legs, smell on every page appear
innate longings you think it's wrong i right
an awareness undefined and in the middle is the mean.
a feeling of being special [hard yet easy]
wanting her to know.
[reading the words behind a look]
Proclamation crime yes i did
i am the beehive gunman tis not worth the aggravation
i've flipped my lid the shame, the disclosure
but my wrists are unmarked standing in court,
i bow my head in homage to the dark your life stripped bare
and break the shell of Triton no concealment
all flaws revealed
so much to do you are guilty, a miscreant
so much waste you have failed.
i'm getting old and my face is grey [the voice of conscience]
i want to burn down heaven when i die
blah blah blah
you're a phoney i'm the light
and suck on holy venom.
Girls ?
re girls: what does that sigh say?
i've had those feelings too what does that look mean?
wanting to talk, get close, kiss she sat behind me and beside me
but our fear made us mute
they incline their heads
moving imperceptibly together can't start, can't stop, can't remember
consent engendered can only recollect
lips thrill some vague misunderstanding
no need to ask, just do more wonders about "if?"
access granted
now plant the flag
finish and begin.
the annoyance of the splashback
i have a scarab which contributed to my storming the aspnest
apology misdirected
note this well
your fault is apparent
your gleaming immense
don't drink the water
just look and shine the saw.
why am i a failure?
a brief self-examination as to:
why am i a failure?
answer: because i have a nose
ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum
you're barking up the wrong tree, mate
don't pat my rump
if you do you'll cry
more ambiguous words from the far and wide.
nostalgia, a calling for
today, i thought i was then
that time was golden
i wrote and wrote
my words flowed like brine
and i dreamt of gore.
sadly, all that is gone
regretfully i digress and slumber on
my bed of yearning
moves in a movement
heads in a noose
i was and was not
i am am alive
[all proceeds to charity].
psychobabble and the quest for zen
at night,
can't crawl,
feeling limpid,
nobody.
minimal,
covert,
rapacious,
second sin.
this diamond hell,
out on a limb,
dangling the hook,
symbol.
shadow and the mole,
parsley,
once was...
hope / home.
insomnia
interior monologue
no rhyme, no reason,
thinking in the dark...disconnect
[do not wear fur].
something of substance
one face among many
lost in the crowd
drowning in the murk
we mute our joy in protest
you'll always find me happysad
angry, ill at ease
inaudible and fickle
hollow as a sheaf
some people are happy
most seem sad and grim
life is a test of reason
a journey to the moon
short and simple
these lines are truants
masks are the fashion nowadays
let's all break the mould
you want to be accepted
included in the team
but why not be different?
stand out, rip the chart
round and round they go
hear the dismal moan
the ship is sinking
the rats are singing
justice is averted
wary as a cloud i crave
alone inside the vortex
providing a spectacle
obliviously sombre
lost?
lowering the tone abortive...
'any port in a storm' you'll do you don't have to be queer to be gay
just lie there and comply you don't have to be blind to obey
you've got that vacant look i like but you do need a brain
you've got me in a twirl and a lamp in the night
and someone else to blame
'two ships passing in the night'
heading south, full fathom five in all seriousness defer to my wisdom
didn't ask for references mother really does know best
you've got all that i require that is why she bore you
and named you after Ahab
turn out the light, it's dark outside and gave and gave and gave
we don't need to see to feel
aroma and a taste of peat childhood is over, the idyll has ended
clothes mingling on the floor now you must step forth and suffer for your wrongs
sinful and sinning, grievous and old
life and how to live it be merciful my lord
love and the pangs of grief we merely came to beg
she broke my heart, i broke her arm [judge not...]
and moved on to greener fields
burning all my bridges, never looking back
treading on uncertain ground
expectation nil.
a sample tender fallow
you may leave but your memory lingers not tonight
you may go and then return not any night
like we from the winding valley not now
casting stones tasting dirt not then
not when
nothing is as we imagine indistinct and variable
what is true we think false crouching under crags
every thought we have is magic looking up at spires
every frown is like a stab pointing to the sky
lying on your back
i wake still dreaming falling upside down
and wander through the day sensible of motion
return to bed now weeping serene inside a cave
wishing i were clay some days good, some bad
most porous, all agree.
one day nearer death
one more morbid gain
might as well cheat the reaper
and cut the gauzy thread.
beaver creek lime in a brothel
why do i do it? daylight offers no reproach
what did i do? anyone can see but no one really cares
standing there with a gun in my hand everyone's too busy
toying with surrender they pause but only blink
it's just a ploy that didn't work laughing, with a tear on her cheek
a brazen aberration transfixed, transmogrified
they didn't take the bait they take your money and your sweat
the plaudits were withheld you leave with their disdain
the burden of our free will numbed me people don't speak unless they're heard
too many choices, too much scope don't shout unless they're close
what the hell's it all about? they hinder your egression
what to do? who can help? the crows and ravens mock
starting out from scratch again scurry back to homebase
renew the daily toil wash away the hurt
got to get to beaver creek to be plain is too obvious
got to learn to sail. the circle cannot be squared.
[based on a real life incident]
Macned opting out (an s. note)
who is Macned? relapse and let the world go by
i am he the pace they set is too fast
i assume that appellation lag behind with the stragglers
or is Macned an anagram? you're a turtle not a hound
the key to a hoary fable?
can't keep up? then disappear
but don't strain your brain in wondering try something more sedate
don't sigh away your nights veer right off course and venture west
you too could hear the passion bell knoll turn back - ignore the start
and find yourself a bride
it's too hard to stay the distance
come now, come here, empower me too tough to make amends
give sustenance to succour all this effort to get nowhere
Leeanna the paradisal flame oblivion is bliss
the iron on my fire
i never asked to be born
fading out, tinged with sadness i don't have to live
she could just well be a ghost there's always a final option
but i saw her once in fleshly form losers never win
and pen this damp reminder. [but maybe in the next life...]
To Defer Nine Day Wonder
all the things i have to do a nine day wonder - that's your take
i'll do them yesterday the view through your tainted eye glass
all the words i have to say but don't rock the boat too hard
i'll say them to the barn owl if you do you'll be tossed overboard
all the places i have to go
i'll go there when i'm dead floating face down on a coral reef
all the people i have to see food for bright fishes and crabs
i'll see them in their grave once a man and now meat
once a sovereign and now a reeking lump
O dandelion! i envy thee thy grace
thine placid nature the penalty for mockery is the censure of your peers
and the mystery of thy make a tirade of abuse denotes ill-breeding
at peace among the greensward and slights your parents drear
in the gully and the brake
ordinary in the sunshine better not to speak than to speak to sow scorn
awesome in a vase. better by far to be humane
and give lesser mortals such as i a fairer chance.
Neo-Argonauts Solace
in a lull in the bitter squall i watch and watch
i weigh anchor and elope and still i wait
send Hieronymus up the rigging behold her in my beseeching eyne
and tie Pilate to the mast she's gone i'm bereft
she's found someone else i'm dead
we race through the Straits of Messina
'twixt the wily Scylla & Co. silent to my meek entreaty
brush pass Hercules' Pillars i think she's been transformed
enroute to Atlantis and the node metamorphosed into an androgyne
embraced the cohorts of the Amazons
hovering in the twilight
on the border between right and wrong people fall out, lovers quarrel
battling the factious denizens the terrain is sometimes hard
we carry the day, we prevail rejection is never easy
but time softens the blow
onwards with the mission
the task is ever in mind over time we can rebuild the ship
at the forefront of endeavour venture out once more on the ocean of life
on a journey without end. lock the past away in a cupboard
and open / hope a different door.
Balancing the Ledger the wiles of the serpent
balancing the ledger - that is the intent perhaps won't do
the stimulus behind the aim once is not nearly enough
do you use a tape measure or a ruler? the first fall from grace is humbling
are you the hammer or the anvil? the second never stops
don't get out now. i don't wear a hat we filled the room with incense
fought for the wrong side lit a candle felt the shock
and lost the string from my kite sat down and prayed to Moses
fell captive to the swarm
lost my means of locomotion
lost my way in the fog our sin was deemed ignoble
derailed by an oversight lust broke the bonds of blood
by a kink in the rails elation masked the hellish slide
release clouded common sense
there's no necessity to conform
no quality control the wiles of the serpent are daggers
everyone gets published one bite gives grief success
every hack can drool. binds the fallen to the throne of chaos
and seals close the needle's eye.
Litanies A Few Home Fallacies
i've got pins and needles your elders are never wrong
i've got hair on my head you can always trust the police
i've got a cog called snouty there is safety in numbers
and a university diploma
there is someone special waiting for you
i've got rats in my attic they lived happily ever after
i've got a wooden leg confession is good for the soul
i've got people coming
and a criminal conviction things can only get better
there is no going back
i've got pens and pencils Oswald acted alone
i've got a foot in the grave
i've got the sneezes and sniffles walking under ladders brings bad luck
and a stain on my sheet to hide it worked before it'll work now
i know what i'm doing
i've got a rhythm going
i've got a new idea lightning never strikes twice in the same place
i've got the message a rolling stone gathers no moss
and the signal to depart. children are without evil
the strong protect the weak.
Far Cough Facing Up
i've leaving home should we be afraid to express our feelings?
and taking the family china i don't think so
been out boozing, selling dope we all have gas and mucus
and untying secret blindfolds so why blush for shame?
why cover up the nudist?
not me! i wasn't there i've got nothing to hide
you haven't got a case there's no skeleton in my closet
i've got a reliable alibi no guilty secret that i'm not willing to share
you've got two left feet
you're cringing. think me mad
street talk. acting big prone to raving. mentally imbalanced
throwing your weight around but no, it's time to face up
living like there's no tomorrow discard your inhibitions
self-transcending yet again break loose. run with the pack
join in and be joyful
i'm really just an observer celebrate and relax
making up things as i go along throw off the shackles
participation minimal life can be fun but you've been misinformed.
long fingers, high brow.
The Wormpool Off My Rocker
the other day i slipped and fell All hail, Macned!
headfirst into the wormpool servant to the king
and before my eyes there formed a film master of the chamberpot
from the bygone days of Troy fricatrice to the queen
there's no sitting on the fence allowed we cherish and adore thee
the ground is parched, the grass is sand adorn thine head with garlands of laurel
i'm certain to be certified robe thee in costly gear
i'm certain of my horse and anoint thine hair with myrrh
the mindwar rages unappeased All hail to thee, Macned!
we stand and fling a mop the fundament of wit
make a ring for boris bog a friend to the donkey
and feed a falcon with the host a barrel of merry jests
and now and then the thread is found we shall mark thy grave with the acorn
we add another brick commemorate thy feast day
put big black daddy in the pyramid make a relic of thy digit
and fustigate Leviathan. and conduct pilgrimages to thy tomb.
Batwing Legion
lost in the underworld my name is legion
with batwing and his kin i am the captain of the host
we chase the phantom dancer and come if you will or no
and saw through bars of gold your doubt is my ally
the murmur of Onan arrests us my name is legion
we recognize his portal your faults are my domain
borrow from a rat the garb a false front is my face
and join him in his game i rule and i revoke
there's not a better way to die my name is legion
than in the throes of love i conquer and confound
there's not a sight to weary of feed off hate and weakness
than looking at the sky move the rabble and the swine
there's no disgrace in being true my name is legion
than hiding from a failure your disbelief i crave
there's no gain without loss draw strength from outrage
but the result is a crown. and fear but only One.
mice and model sheep The Murmur of Onan
he wondered why he wandered who maketh the pigeon sleep?
with mice and model sheep it is our friend Lord Onan
he wondered why his watch had stopped what key has been mislaid?
and the day was always dim the one that sparkles when embraced
he wondered where the good times went how often was the rut placated?
when everything went black as often as the guard was lulled
he wondered why the ground was wet where did the cherished act leave tokens?
and his whistle never damp in a chamber of a puissant goal
he wondered why he couldn't hear why does the supplication falter?
any call except a hoot because the effort made the body limp
he wondered why his hopes were high when did the thought become repulsive?
and the cupboard always bare when an obsession met distaste
he wondered when the end would come whom does all this enchantment bait?
and the lame could walk again every mortal with a longing heart
he wondered if this was all a dream and will their souls retain the memory?
or was he really dead? will sensation subvert the spirit?
the nether mark Telemachus
i am first among the last dark but not black
i follow and lead astray sad but not grim
my aim is wayward and my arm is weak the door is left open
but my arrow hits the nether mark the rope is left to rot
i was lost and foundered blindly there is a way to win renown
i sought and cleaved the fog i'll show you how to fret
put a hand before my face our guide is Telemachus
and waited for the thaw he fired the fatal shot
i laid in state but no one came it's so unfair, the lurkers stare
i wrote words that were never read on the fringes they are stuck
the fire dwindled to a flicker dim they shout and shout until they cry
ambition was culled by doubt for the tigon to attack
and in the end what more remains the mystery is the triangle
than another blighted start? she offered me her map
line up or lie down but i remained impassive
the result is still a tie. and let virtue make a boast.